Buckle up, shit birds. It’s time to cut through the corporate shit. You’ve probably heard the doomsday prophets heralding the housing market’s collapse 5 years?. Well, spoiler alert: it’s a prime-time Shekelberg soap opera sponsored by the Globohomo real estate moguls and their news puppets. These corporate puppet masters are pulling the strings, orchestrating a narrative that smells fishier than your sisters “Hoo Hah”. How ya doin? So, let’s tear down the facade and poke some holes in their greedy miscalculations.
The Great Commercial Real Estate Hoax: Why Their Rent Check Is Still High
Remember when all these social media goober’s short form content was/is currently yelling about the housing market taking a nosedive? Turns out, it’s more ‘fake it ’til you make it’ than an actual crash. Commercial real estate big shots bought properties at staggering prices from locals, dreaming of endless profit margins. Mind you, these are properties that your standard medium to large strip malls, office buildings, and upper class white collar coke dens who use it play grab ass with the pretty new hire. But instead of admitting to their game of money moving monopoly gone wrong, they’re pointing fingers at the residential market, desperately trying to divert attention from their blunder.
The Work-From-Home Wedge and Corporate Cost-Cutting Circus
March 2023 was a real show. Corporations, sitting on their thrones of high All-Time-High mortgages combined with utility bills and taxes, they are strait up holding the proverbial bag. A decision at the round table is to lure workers back to the office. Why? To justify their excessive expenses and keep the illusion of necessity alive. But workers weren’t biting. The high key (fr fr no cap cuh) refusal to return to office (RTO) became the elephant in the room, with many preferring their home offices to the cubicle farms.
Fast forward to January 2024, a new Globohomo Finance firmware update was sent out from the servers. In this update, it includes axing employees to save on rent and mortgage costs. It’s a standard masterclass in corporate efficiency BUT this time it’s to cut the workforce under the guise of RTO, and in which the refusal of return to office turns into wanted terminations, then gleefully watch all the expenses drop.
The Desperate Pivot to Mixed-Use and Residential
Now, here’s the kicker: some of these corporate long nosed wizards are sitting on empty buildings they can’t fill. Their grand solution? Converting these office wage cages to residential spaces or, even more laughable, ‘Mixed Use’ zones, In a flimsy attempt to stop the financial hemorrhaging without admitting defeat. Another thing to add to this is that a large amount of these commercial buildings cannot be converted to mixed or residential due to the fact of the original design or the insanely high costs of adding HVAC and plumbing to these buildings.
Which doesn’t make sense right? Even though the firmware update was sent out to these scumbags, it seems though that the ones that actually bought these buildings at ATH, are mostly foreign (Think Chinese), local Shabbos, or some legit greedy normie investors that are in this situation. There is no way its all these Small Hats that are sitting on these bags. These fuckers are still currently, as we speak, actually buying real estate (residential) with 8% plus interest rates, but real estate nonetheless! BlackRock ala Larry Fink just bought a multiple high end 600k+ single family investment homes in my area alone. I called up a VP at a bank that I know, to confirm this and they said yes. Wild. There is no way there is going be a 2008 style residential crash, or at least relatively. I mean people are still paying their bills. Anything still could happen I guess, no one has a crystal ball, this situation is going to turn for the worst, I dont know how the FED and these investors and make this wait out til after the 2024 election season.
This ‘Mixed Use’ or Residential re-zoning is a last-ditch effort to claw back some cash. But here’s the guff: who’s going to live in these hastily repurposed spots? The same workers they just handed pink slips to? The irony is as thick as the concrete walls these companies bags they wish they could sell. Even some local and state governments are trying to assist with the coping, by providing incentives to these commercial landlords or businesses to convert their shit investments to residential spaces. But realistically in turn, these local shitbags are just propping up their next election votes under the image of “sustainability” and “affordable housing”
The Real Estate Reality Check
So, where does this leave us, the regular Goys and normies of the world? Stuck between a rock and a hard place. We’re still doling out our hard-earned cash for rent or mortgages because, despite the so-called ‘crash,’ the numbers on those bills haven’t taken the hint.
The bottom line is this: don’t buy into the doom and gloom the corporate mouthpieces are selling. The ‘housing market crash’ is a narrative as flimsy as the ‘Mixed Use’ zoning plans. It’s a smokescreen, a distraction from the real problem—corporate greed gone wild.
2024 is going to be a wild ride, folks. But remember, do anything to keep your necessary bills paid, start networking, and give yourself options in case you and/or your family has to move to greener pastures.
